There are many ways to convey the truth even during difficult times. Take for instance the wall of humorous shame.
I was not always an Army chaplain. I started out as a “shaved tail” second lieutenant in the Infantry in 1975. One of my positions during those days was executive officer (XO) for a large support company of over a thousand troops where the HHC Commander and XO positions were marked for combat leaders. About this time the Army initiated its first ever weight control program with the usual specific ages and categories of what is good and bad for a Solider that is always ready to fight. As the XO of HHC, 1st PERSCOM it was my responsibility to run this new effort.
It didn’t take long to discover after a starting weigh-in that several field-grade officers and senior Non-commissioned officers (NCOs) were overweight. It was embarrassing to say the least. Immediately orders came down from the higher command XO that I was to purge all field grade officers and E7 and above sergeant names from the list. Then I was directed to do an extra physical training (PT) session after hours each day to sweat off the pounds of those remaining on the list. I was 23 years old and weighed 135 pounds. PT was fun except for my after-duty hours gang. It was a travesty of the new Army policy though to leave the senior folks off the “bad boy’s list”. I complained through channels and was told to be seen and not heard from, especially on this subject. Other Army programs followed with similar alterations for rank, position, and power.
Frustrated, I began taking political cartoons printed in my hometown newspaper and ‘doctoring them a little’ to humorously strike back at one mistruth after another. I posted them on the wall of my office. No one ever visited me except my commander and Frist Sergeant, and they laughed as hard as I did when reading them.
That is, until several months later the Command XO paid a surprise visit to my office for a brief greeting before dashing into the Commander’s office. He was just about to mention my name when he saw his name in many cartoons on my wall. He stopped, studied them carefully for an agonizing period then turned asking me, “Do you believe what these cartoons say?” One cartoon in particular showed a man named after the XO getting his leg chewed off by a ferocious dog labeled as the “overweight affair”. The XO spent much time on this art. Caught red-handed, I figured I had nothing to lose that wouldn’t be taken soon from me anyway, so I responded crisply, “Yes, Sir. Every one of them.” He paused, greeted me and about faced out of my office into the Commander’ office shutting the door for total privacy.
I called my wife to explain that we had a good chance of getting new orders for some far way assignment and that she should be starting to consider a move. A week went by and not a word was heard about this incident. Then a surprise turn of events occurred with the announcement that the Command XO had new movement orders to return to CONUS (USA). Thinking of myself as a “dead man walking”, I took all the cartoons off the wall and put them into a scrapbook gift for the XO.
Days later a farewell luncheon was held at a favorite German restaurant. Upon arrival to this event, I hid in a dark back corner hoping not to be noticed. The guest of honor, our XO, arrived soon after and took his seat at the head table with the commanding general and other dignitaries. But no sooner had he done so than he noticed me. He shouted in a commanding voice so all could clearly hear, “LT. Lloyd come forward!” Most in the room had heard of my indiscretion of truth and were amused to say the least waiting for what appeared to be my public embarrassment and exile.
“Lieutenant, I received your gift and have read it with much amusement. This is the best gift I have received. My thanks. Please don’t sit in the back. Sit by my side at the head table,” said the smiling XO. Within a week after the XO left, new orders came down and another weigh-in occurred. This time anyone over the line was on the list and showed up for my PT class. Policies began to change showing no partiality for rank or position. Meet the standards or other actions would be taken to comply.
Humor helps digesting tough truth. Take it from a new LT. learning how to navigate the Army that would later help him do the same as an Army chaplain. You got to laugh.
Scottie Lloyd
